Bhplayon's Blog

Stories in the life of Betty Brown Hammond…..truth sometimes seems like fiction.

“Everything Happens for a Reason?”

Now isn't that Random?

Now isn’t that Random?

(this is an old post, re-inserted due to deletion) “Everything happens for a reason?” Personally, I really do not believe this. (did you just GASP?!!!) I think it is one of those things people say to you when you tell them something about your life that undeniably sucks. I think those platitudes are just our mind’s way of trying to contextualize experiences that don’t fall inside our usual frameworks for making sense of the world. I believe that sometimes we all make pointless, useless choices…..and these are the times you make “lemonade out of lemons”. There are just too many really bad things out there for me to rationalize “everything happens for a reason”. I guess a lot of it comes down to situations like this: The mother of a severely handicapped child who has to listen to the well-meaning chirping’s of her friends who say “everything happens for a reason…(or) God only gives special children to special mothers who are strong” Yes, these people do not know what else to say…they are well-meaning. But this mother is thinking…. “there’s NO reason good enough that I should have to deal with this severe disability….and I don’t think it is part of a LARGER plan!”. Here is what I DO believe: We ALL have life experiences that make us STRONGER. We learn from these experiences. These experiences are what mold us. They help us better our choices for the future. I have no real problem believing in the randomness of life.  Or, that maybe SOME  things happen for a reason.  BUT….. This is only MY take, albeit a very unpopular view…..but it is what it is And I am what I am:-) I’m definitely not trying to change anyone’s thought process. Just give insight on another view.

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A “piece of shit”? Really???

Friday evening I was home alone. About to sit down and relax for the evening when I hear a pounding on my front door. He chose not to ring the bell and pounded the door with purpose. I could see his outline through the glass. He was very tall man. I was frightened because I didn’t know who it was. I cracked the door and immediately recognized him as my neighbor on the hill. I met him, his wife and their daughter at the yard sale we had last Fall. am horrible with names. I wish i had remembered his name.

As soon as I opened the door he screamed at me. “YOUR DOG KILLED MY CAT!” There was no civil introduction or explanation. He blasted me with the news. I walked onto the porch trying to figure out what the heck was going on. My dogs were all accounted for.  They had been in the house or in the fenced yard. He started walking toward the side of the house to get a view of my large dog in the fenced back yard. Pointing to our red bone hound/retriever mix , Kane.  I heard him say, “That piece of shit killed my cat.”  I was stunned.  Kane is always either in  our basement or in his fenced area. He and Pinky share that area, but Pinky had been in the house that day.  He was pointing toward their dog house. Which is a large house that used to be a playhouse Dennis built for the kids.  There beside it was a white cat lying lifeless. All I could say was “I’m sorry.”  I knew Kane acted instinctively.  The cat made an unwise choice, a very sad and unfortunate one.  I was beginning to feel afraid and was shocked at the way this man was treating me.  He was ranting on and on.  He said he could not believe I didn’t check on my animals. The cat had been missing for two days.  I told him I took very good care of my animals! I could not see the cat from the basement door where I feed the dogs and bring them in to sleep every night. I had been out to give them water and check on them during the day,  but never walked to the other side of their dog house to notice the cat. Was I to walk the fences everyday?   His behavior was very disturbing, I told him several times he should leave and come back when my husband gets home. He accused me of not checking on my animals when he apparently had not kept up with his cat!  I could have turned that on him. It was HIS cat that was in OUR fenced yard.   I allowed him his rant and tried not to say a lot as I knew he was hurting.  I expressed several times how sorry I was for his loss.  I asked what I could do at this point.   He only wanted to get the cat from our yard. I went in through the house and came out through the basement. I told him I could get a box for his cat. He appreciated that.  He was visibly upset and so was I . He teared up and told me she was a sweet cat. I handed him the box where I had placed the cat.

He acted on emotion, I know. But how much better this would have been if he had not handled it in such a hostile way. I am not heartless. I feel horrible that that Kane killed his cat. If in fact he did.  No one saw him do it. The cat wasn’t bloody and I didn’t see punctures.  It was almost like it climbed over the fence and laid down to die.  I guess we will never know what happened for sure. But Kane probably killed the cat. When I told the man the cat didn’t look like he had been violently attacked. He said it doesn’t take much effort for a dog to snap a neck.

He said Kane was vicious and couldn’t see why we would keep a dangerous dog.  I defended Kane. We’ve raised him from puppyhood. He is a rescue dog. All bark no bite when it came to people.  He said Kane acted like he was very mean when he came near the fence earlier.  That made me wonder why he snooped around without first knocking on my door. Of course Kane is going to bark!  He is protecting his property! Dogs are very territorial.  This dog was an enemy to him. Nothing I said could change his opinion.

The next day I heard Kane barking very wildly.  Like when the man reads the meter or the trash guys come for the trash.  I walked out on our back porch and saw the man walking toward the fence.  I quickly went down through the basement and called Kane to come inside. The man turned to walk back toward his house. He saw me and heard me calling Kane.  Don’t know why he was there, but feel this should be documented. He was angry and I’m not sure if I’ve heard the last of him. Friday, when he calmed a bit, he said  he didn’t want hard feelings as we would be neighbors for a while. I again told him I was sorry for his loss.

It is extremely difficult to lose a pet. I imagine he was shocked to see the cat lying dead in our fenced area.  However, I don’t like having someone come to my door yelling at me, cursing my dog, and questioning the way I care for my animals.  The way he handled it was upsetting. I am old enough to be his mother.  Was he not trained to respect his elders?   Yelling at a woman answering the door was inappropriate. Also, if I wish I could have somehow prevented this. It is very sad and I am so sorry that it happened. But unless I had been out there to run the cat off before it crossed into Kane’s pen, What could I do?

kane yard

My view from basement door. There is a 5′ fence around this area.


Kane my 8 year old Hound/Retriever mix



Update B’s Weight loss Journal

I weighed in today at 191.4. I’ve lost three pounds in the first week. I am very happy with this. Because I feel I can keep it off and continue to lose. I am eating what I like. A healthy balanced diet. I am limiting portions. I am enjoying sweets in moderation.  Exercising daily.  I hope to have another good report next week

Week 2 weigh in:  I was very worried that this would be a week that set me back. I was pleasantly surprised that I weighed in at 190.4. Which is a loss of one pound for this week. 4 lbs total in two weeks. I’m on task. This past week I ate more the first part of the week. Went on a sister’s mini vacay with my sisters.  but I didn’t stray to far from moderation. So I’m happy to report a loss and no gain.
Well it’s the last day of January and I am happy with my results. I am at 186.0 now! I’ve lost 6.4 pounds. Already I can appreciate my efforts as my clothes are fitting better. Losing weight at a slow pace does not offer immense immediate gratification. But I feel confident I will stick to this plan and gratification will come as I celebrate all the small milestones that will lead to my ultimate goal. I’m trying to find an exercise bike. I am not good with cold weather.

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Scruffy Doe

Today Dennis and I were walking. As we approached the curve in our road we looked up and saw buzzards circling.  It made my brain take a quick accounting of all our pets.  Yep they were all fine.  We thought nothing more of it as we continued our walk. On the way home as we turned on our road we were more focused on the sights along the road when we noticed a large rolled tarp had been dumped on our land.  As we got closer to the tarp I could smell something really bad. The smell of something dead and decomposing.  I asked D if it could be a body!    We had to investigate. We pulled the tarp back and to our horror we saw hair and bones. We could tell it was the body of a dog. The head was intact enough.  This was very sad to us. We were relieved it was not a person. But someone went to some trouble to wrap the dog in the tarp.  Seems like they could have just buried the dog.

I call the dog Scruffy.  Scruffy Doe.  Bless its heart. RIP Little Scruffy.




I refuse to wear a moo moo!   Waaaaaaah! How did this happen?   I was active up until about three years ago.  I played division three soccer with much younger women for years. i was able to run up and down that soccer field with twenty year old women for ninety minutes and hold my own.  I coached soccer for years which required activity.  My knees failed and I had to have them replaced in 2013.  My activity level went way down and my caloric intake remained the same.  So I began to gain weight.  I tried riding my bike and cutting down on portions. Then developed Plantar Fasciitis. This is a crippling and painful condition that makes walking very difficult.

I am corpulant, fat, plump, stout,chubby, portly, flabby, obese, rotund, gargantuan, fluffy, hefty, blubbery, etc.. . This unfeigned observation of myself is not meant to insult anyone who is also weight challenged.  I happen to have friends that are absolutely beautiful with extra pounds. Some people choose to accept this about themselves and are happy. I have been  fit weighing 160 pounds. I was happy. I am unfit and weigh much more than that. I like being a fit weight much more than my unfit fat weight. So I am excited to journey back to a more manageable weight and become fit along the way.  Tackling this regardless any inhibiting issues. On January 2, 2016, I will begin.

On my last visit to Dr. McDonald, he told me I should lose weight. That I already knew, but to actually hear someone tell me was sobering. But Dr. McDonald offered a solution that was too reasonable to resist.  He said to set my goal to lose a pound a week. He said I should have access to a scale and weigh everyday.  And he talked to me about exercise. I would definitely have to figure out something that my body would allow me to do.  He recommended a stationary bicycle.  I do not have one at this time. He also suggested swimming. I do not have access to a pool.  So I’ve decided to obtain some orthopedic shoes to help with the plantar fasciitis, and walk. I will ride my bike when it is back in service. Yeah, Dennis says he is going to fix it….and It is not necessary to remind him every six months.

So I will use this blog to journal my effort to lose weight.  Beginning January 2, 2016, I will weigh in and write about what I did that day to make it happen. I will check in regularly and record my progress…complete with pictures.  I hope to do even better than a pound a week. But this weight was accumulated over time. It will take time to lose it.  Check back January 2nd for the documentation of my weight and any comments I have about my commitment to this plan.

January 2nd

I began today with a weigh in.  I went on a vigourous walk this afternoon for 45 minutes. Got my heart rate up. I am keeping track of my heart rate, walking distances, and weight with my S Health app on my Samsung.  Feel good about the choice to cut back on portions. Cut the junk calories out. I have to be more conscientious about everything I choose to eat.  Wise choices instead of impulse eating.  Feel Great so far.

January 3

Today I walked briskly for an hour. Feeling great. I am not going to become overly elated at a weight that is less or more than the previous day. I am going to focus on where I am in a months time.  My goal is to lose a pound per week. I probably will not update daily. But will definitely be keeping daily records of my progress.

January 8.
Been walking. Not cheating too bad on diet. Will do weigh in tomorrow to see if I have lost a pound. Yeah at least a pound!

weight 2


John 3, 16

Quite possibly the most recognized and cherished Bible verse.  It certainly is the most quoted. 
From an early age to my teens I went from house to house as a devout Jehovah’s Witness. I gave my spiel which was a rehearsed, scripted presentation.   Offering their Watchtower and Awake magazines for a small contribution to cover the cost of printing. …  Sometimes it was their Green Bible, The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures at a cost of a dollar.  The householder was given the explanation that this Bible was translated to modern English, which is much easier to understand. But not to worry,  it is exactly like the King James Version.   Oh wow, I told that big story many times.

I began to notice their translation wasn’t the same at all as I entered my late teens. I had begun to doubt the religion that was inculcated in me from birth
In their translation of John, 3,16 a key word was changed.  This scripture lays out what is necessary for our salvation. You could say the theme of the New Testiment is summed up in that scripture.  So profound.   Altering the words, actually manipulating them to support their beliefs….well,  that is just wrong!

I can’t emphasize enough how thankful I am to have escaped from the clutches of the witnesses.  Deprogramming my brain from their teachings was made possible through prayer.  I went from a religion that is considered cultic to having a personal relationship with God! 

John 3,16 KJV
For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever Believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.
John 3,16 NWT
For God loved the world so much he gave his only begotten son,  in order that everyone exercising faith in him will not be destroyed  but have everlasting life .

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